After A Storm Comes A Rainbow

The past two years we have weathered a Storm with heartbreak from the passing of our daughter Jocelyn and many other trials during these past two years. Through the storm we have grown as husband and wife, as individuals, and as a family. It has not been easy and we are now starting to see some light at the end with some of the other trials we have been facing....

But the one thing that has been hard for me is that after Jocelyn passed I knew that we would have another child and when it did not happen in the time I wanted it to. I began to feel as though I was grieving two children. The one I carried for 9 months and got to hold for a beautiful 24 hours and a child that did not exist yet. Over time I had excepted not being pregnant again and was grateful even that we were able to have that first year after Jocelyn's passing to grieve and let her be our sweet little baby.

Then as time continued to pass people kept asking when we would have another or if we were, along with "It will happen in Gods time". All these statement became hard and reminders that I had not been able to conceive or made me feel as though you can just replace one child with another. Well that is not so, Jocelyn can never be replaced I did not carry her for 9Months for nothing. So, I started to just tell people we were done so I could be left alone in my pain and try to process what it was that the Lord wanted. I know that everything happens for a reason and is in Gods hands.

Mid to Late 2011 I had a visit my doctor and being someone who has never had to try or put an effort into getting pregnant had changed. We started clomid a fertility drug. We went three months on it with no luck and my emotions getting the best of me. By the end of the third round I did not want to do any more. So we stopped trying so we could enjoy the end of the year and Christmas with our boys. But.....

So the saying goes after the storms comes a rainbow. Today I was able to see the tiniest of beats of a rainbow. I pray that we will get to the end of this sweet rainbow safely and healthy Sept 8th, 2012. For those of you who still don't get it yes we are finally expecting our rainbow baby after two years. Although we are just in the beginning we are feel blessed at this point and want to try and enjoy each day we are given with this little one. We are prepared for a long and emotional ride but looking forward to it. We ask that you all please keep us in your prayers that all goes well. We are blessed and grateful for our family and friends who love and support us through this new adventure. Thank you