What Are Your Family Traditions?

That is what John was asked by a friend of his and this was his reply:

It’s starting to become a tradition that on the day after Thanksgiving, we choose to pick out the Files Family Christmas tree and forgo the battles at the mall. Shopping for trees is quite an adventure. I mean I drive all over the valley looking for visually appealing tree lot and spend my entire Christmas budget on some sap ridden farm grown Christmas tree that mysteriously changes its shape once set up in my living room. And what’s the deal with proprietors of Xmas tree lots anyway? I mean who wants to buy a tree from some lazy eyed, unshaven freak of nature wearing coveralls, beanie (no offense) and wielding a chainsaw? Now I know what carnival workers do in the off season.

After erecting the centerpiece of holiday cheer in my living room, I dig out the boxes from our basement containing all of our Christmas Crap and once the dust settles, I proceed to untangle the strings of Christmas tree lights and go into battle with Heidi as to how to decorate the house. I usually park it on the couch by this time in attempts to corral my kids from molesting the tree and rifling through the Christmas decorations. Once the house has made the transformation, Heidi will bust out the Christmas music CD’s and the annoying sound of Celine Dion singing Deck the Halls will fill my house with Joy and thoughts of homicide.